HOW TO BE A HIPSTER
CHAPTER TWO: INTERESTS
Being a Hipster isn't easy. The careless look and seemingly easy attitude takes hours to perfect, if not days. If you want to be a true hipster there are a variety of interests you need to have. While I can't cover all of them in this brief chapter, here are some basics for you to study.
Hipsters have a very specific taste in music. In the following diagram you'll notice just a few basic bands and artists that you need to become acquainted with to start your Hipster music library. Here's an example of a basic hipster iPod. Please adjust yours accordingly.
(Note that Arcade Fire are still on here, even though they won a Grammy. In this particular case you need to just sigh and hope for the best for this beloved band. If they sell out to the general masses, then promptly purge your playlist of anything that comes out after The Suburbs.)
When it comes to
1. Garden State - Uh...duh. Even though some Hipsters are totally over this film, most still love it.
2. Anything by Wes Anderson. ANYTHING. (Royal Tennenbaums, Rushmore, The Life Aquatic, Bottle Rocket, Darjeeling Limited)
Any self respecting Hipster would probably marry Wes Anderson if they had the chance. Marry him and have his little hipster filmmaker babies. He makes the best movies ever. He probably makes pretty good babies too. Probably.
3. Donnie Darko - Every Hipster goes through an angst-y Donnie Darko phase at some point or another. Now it's your turn.
4. Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind - Because of this movie, Hipsters like the name Clementine. Also they like dying their hair pink and blue.
DOCUMENTARIES. Hipsters love documentaries as well. It makes them feel aware. They absolutely love to raise awareness. It makes them feel good in a guilty sort of way. It should make you feel good and guilty, too.
Nobody really knows the real reason that Hipsters flock to Shark Week like a dog to puke. All you have to do is turn on the television in July and watch informing episodes about all the different kinds of sharks. When you see your hipster friends, drop some references like "I was going to go to [insert local show here] but Shark Week was on, and...well, you know how it is."
Become a photographer/graphic designer/artist/writer/blogger.
Hipsters don't need art school. Because they already have a keen eye for what looks acceptable and what doesn't, they make natural freelance photographers/designers/artists/writers/and bloggers. Buy an old fashioned camera. The kind with gasp FILM.
After you buy your old fashioned camera, take pictures like these:
Go to ugly sweater parties. These are like breeding grounds for Hipsters. They go to these parties to laugh at each other and take pictures for social networking sites.
Now go mark your calendar for Shark Week, pull on your Oxfords and ride your bike to your nearest Thrift Store to look for a hideous sweater. Check back soon for the next installment of How to Be a Hipster: Lifestyle.